Too Much Digital Monsters
by Washu Ishida
Summary: Songfic using the Weird Al's parody "Too Much Jerry Springer". Thus, it contains mature themes. Shounen-Ai and character bashing.


Too Much Digital Monsters

Too Much Digital Monsters

By: Washu Ishida

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, yada yada, talk talk talk, blah blah, etc…

Author's Notes: This is a songfic that is a parody of a parody. (The Jerry Springer Song by Weird Al, which was a parody of "One Week") I've been working on my Final Fantasy stories so, between them and my AP school work, I don't have much time to write Digimon. I've decided to exaggerate all of the moot points of Digimon and turn them into Jerry Springer caliber material. (Maniacal laughter) Note that I made this to vent my frustration and laugh.It was NOT made to be good.

It's been one week since we got to see,

Hints of Jyoushiro and Taito/(slash) Yamachi

Five days since they had the show,

with Mimi the slut and Sora the crack ho.

Three days since we heard the tale

about Daisuke who learned that Ken became a She-male.

Yesterday, it occurred to me 

that I've been watching a bit too much Digital Monsters.

Holy cow d'you see it last week?

Miyako, that freak,

had sucker punched her whole family.

Do you recall Taichi's brawl became a total free for all

and Sora's in the middle trying to play the referee.

Mimi became a stripper with new implants.

She likes to lap dance.

Yamato killed the boyfriend of his mother.

Now here comes his next houseguest,

and it's a slugfest,

cause it's is Gilligan-hat brother.

Taichi and Yamato are back on crack,

it's like "When animals attack"

they both exhibit irreprehensible behavior.

Hit 'em on the nose; tear off their clothes,

step on their toes, that's how it goes,

they get so violent they have to sign a waiver.

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame.

On the air? They don't care. They've got no shame. 

Now I sure, both of them felt a little strange,

when they found out, Sora tried to have a sex change.

They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly,

they have a history of ripping off their shirts.

It's been one week since they had the fight,

When ultimate digivolving didn't work, except the crest of Light.

Five days since that awful brawl.

They still haven't scraped up all the data off the wall.

It's been three days since the bitter feud,

between Takeru, Hikari and the three Hong Kong dudes.

Yesterday, it finally dawned on me 

that I'm spending way too much time on Digital Monsters.

Taichi: Sora, I have a blue haired lover.

Sora: Oh! Which one?

Taichi: Both of them.

Sora: Ack! Well I've been sleeping with your best friend Yamato!

Taichi: Yeah? Well me too!

Sora: Oh!!

Taichi: AND, I had a foursome with him, Koushiro and Jyou!

Sora: Those three?! You b*tch! Well, I've been sleeping with your sister Hikari!

Takeru: Hey, she doesn't love you!

Once you start watchin' there's just no stoppin'

Imagination goes wild and your sanity's droppin'!

Taichi's the king of confrontation!

He's a sensation!

He puts the 'sin' in syndication!

Sora's totally worthless like a bad check.

She's like a train wreck.

Don't wanna stare but you can't look away.

This program is like a talk show,

but with more weirdoes.

The rating's jumping higher everyday.

If you've seen the show then you know 

they're just as low as they can go 

and they're lacking in facilities of hygiene.

And pretty soon some digi-goon comes in the room

and then it's BOOM in the face of Sora 

who once called Taichi a drag queen.

Well it's the kind of show where the digidestined scream obscenities.

Yankin' hair, thowin' chairs at their possible future hubbies.

Digimon! Digital Monsters! Now the chorus starts its favorite chant.

Should I turn off my TV? I just can't.

I have a tendency to watch it religiously.

I have a history of taping each one.

It's been one week since the show about

psycho Dark Masters with problems they should work out.

Five days since the big surprise 

when Michael's husband Wallace said that he's still dating twenty guys.

Three days since we got to view

the Digi-World Tour that turned into a total zoo.

Yesterday, it occurred to me 

that I've been watching a bit too much Digital Monsters.

I just don't have the time to watch Digital Monsters.

I have too many classes to watch Digital Monsters.

There are other Anime besides Digital Monsters.

Please review my songfic about Digital Monsters.


End file.
